I'm sitting on a ledge, thinking that I want to jump. Will I fly like I did last time?
I know this post is cryptically allegorical. What, you say? Sorry, this is as good as it gets. Don't worry, it does not involve doing anything self-destructive. Well, at least I hope not.
I jumped off a ledge a few years ago. It was scary. Actually by the time it came to jumping, it wasn't that hard. Circumstances were good. Things just worked out. I spread my wings out and I was soaring on my own. One of the things that helped was that I had a great soaring companion. Together we found some updrafts, and we stayed aloft for quite a while. The updrafts were not as dramatic as my companion would have liked, but hey, I that it was a pretty good thing. As my companion became bored and then eventually flew off, I coasted own down, landed on a ledge -- still a ways off the ground -- but a little winded and wanting to rest a little.
So now that I haven't flown in a while, I am getting restless. I like flying. But can I find some updrafts on my own? Can new soaring companions work as well as the previous one? Are circumstances good enough? Do I know what the heck I am doing?
Many others have soared much higher than me. And many of them have had a lot of crashes. Some them were pretty darn good crashes. After crashing, they nursed their wounds and then took off flying again. Pretty tough birds.
I haven't crashed. Not really. I don't know what that feels like, and I don't think I want to know. But I do want to soar. So what kind of bird does that make me? I think I'm a spoiled bird.
I don't actually have to fly. I have the option of just staying here, with my memory of the first flight, and the comfort of knowing I actually did it once, and did it pretty well. I could just coast and make it through the rest of my life.
But once you've flown, the ground is just not the same.
When (if) I take the plunge, I'll talk about it and then this post will make a little sense. Meanwhile, I am still just sitting here, looking into the air. Other birds are up there. Can I still do it?